We’ve all heard it before: ‘The most attractive quality to a girl is confidence’. Or ‘Confident guys get the girls’.

Both of these statements hold a lot of truth. Girls are drawn like flies to confident males. It’s because they like being in the presence of strong, masculine men. Self-confidence is the best way to make other people subconsciously view you as higher status.

That’s all well and good, but how do you actually go about being more confident, not just when talking to girls, but when talking to anyone?

The Secret Way To Be More Confident And Get Girls

To begin with, it’s important you understand that true self-confidence comes from proving things to yourself: Proving that you are capable of disciplining yourself to do difficult tasks and proving to yourself you can do the right thing. In other words, you learn to trust yourself.

But that’s a pretty long-term solution. If you want to know how to talk to girls better now, read on.

The Mistake Most Guys Make

If you have ever searched ‘how to be more confident’, you’ve likely seen a bunch of articles telling you to ‘take up more space’, or use ‘more expansive body language’.

That can help, but there is one big problem. Most guys don’t actually feel more confident from doing this.

Why’s that?

Because they are overthinking about everything!

The last time you talked to a girl, did you suck in your stomach to make her think you have a 6 pack when you actually don’t? Or when you walked past her, did you flex your bicep so it seemed a centimetre or two bigger?

The truth is, the positive benefit of seeming slightly more muscular is far outweighed by the weird energy you transmit when you are in conversation.

When you are overthinking about everything, you are not present in the conversation. And trust me, everyone can tell.

This is a problem with most articles teaching men how to talk to women nowadays. They simply provide too much specific and ultra-nuanced information. Any guy trying to implement it all in a conversation will surely become hyper-attentive to their own actions – which is extremely unattractive.

How To Actually Increase Confidence

The way to actually, look and feel confident is to do the opposite of what every other guy does. Do not be tense, simply be relaxed and present. Overthinking will ruin your attractiveness because it will be as clear as day in your body language.

This is where practices like meditation are incredibly useful. Meditation teaches you to be present and it’s also great at training you how to relax your physical and mental self. This will undoubtedly skyrocket your success with women.

Actionable Step

Instead of bombarding you with a list of ’15 things every guy should do when talking to girls’, I’m going to give you one thing to think about and implement the next time you talk to a girl.

Simply breathe.

That’s all you need to remember. Just take full and deep breaths in and out through your nose. Don’t try and tense your abs. Instead, relax them and breathe into the stomach so that your abdomen visibly bulges out with each breath.

Take a couple of deep breaths before talking to her, then maintain that throughout the conversation.

As a result, you will feel relaxed, and everyone around you will know that you are relaxed aswell. It is an incredibly powerful subconscious tool and it will instantly make conversations with you more enjoyable.

Taking full and deep breaths will keep you grounded in the present moment; focussing on something physical like your breath will ensure that you don’t get lost in your head.

All of this is crucial for having engaging conversations with women and making it obvious to them that you are comfortable in your own body.

Conclusion

Yes, it really is that simple – just remember to breathe. Breathing in this way isn’t just useful for talking to women, relaxation and presence is helpful for pretty much all social situations (e.g. a job interview). Even in non-social situations, breathing fully into your stomach is a powerful tool for elevating confidence.

Remember, women want to have pleasant conversations with other normal humans, not some guy who is as rigid as cardboard because he is too self-conscious to be free in his own body.